The Unfinished Business

Oil pastel on paper, 11.8" x 11.8"

2025

When I was eight years old, I had a close-knit group of classmates whom I trusted and considered my best friends. One morning, as I entered the classroom and attempted to initiate a conversation with one of them, I was met with complete silence as if I were invisible. Over the following weeks, the entire group isolated me. Although they eventually befriended me again, the absence of an apology left me with unresolved emotions that haunted me for over a decade, often resurfacing during vulnerable moments. This experience compelled me to explore these unfinished feelings through my artwork. In my drawing, I reconstructed the incident, depicting my friends gossiping and walking away from me in the school playground. I portrayed myself with a downcast expression and a sluggish appearance, facing away from the light. The contrasting colours in the background symbolise the tension of that moment, echoing the emotional pain I experienced. As I created this artwork, I reflected on the complexity of the feelings involved. While we often describe such situations as "feeling isolated," I wondered if that term could truly capture the complexity of my emotions. Initially, I felt confused, unsure of what I had done to deserve such treatment. I only recognised that my behaviour might have triggered their reactions in hindsight. During group activities, I often felt embarrassed and helpless, unable to turn to anyone for support. When bullying continued for some time, I began to feel hopeless, unable to see a way out, and even feared going to school. Gradually, I internalised their views, seeing myself as worthless and unlovable. When they eventually reached out to me again, I felt a mix of relief and anger—relief at no longer being alone, but anger that they had never acknowledged their mistake. Years later, seeing their lives unfold on social media still filled me with bitterness, knowing I was still haunted by that incident while they seemed to thrive. I realised that the impact of this experience had made me anxious in later friendships, fearing a repeat of that isolation. I longed to put an end to this cycle. While therapists may use the empty chair exercise to help people confront their unfinished business, I chose to confront my feelings through the creative process. I expressed my emotions to my friends as if they were present. Upon completing the artwork, I looked at my figure in the drawing. I wished to comfort and reassure her that she deserved love. In viewing that vulnerable girl, I also acknowledged my growth. I had become stronger and less dependent on others. I took a moment to appreciate my transformation from trauma. Without those past injuries, I would not be the person I am today. After confronting my feelings, I accepted the truth that I would likely never see those individuals again or receive an apology. The past event cannot be altered, and I realised that moving forward requires me to embrace forgiveness. I reminded myself that forgiveness does not mean forgetting. While reconciliation involves both parties, forgiveness is a personal journey. By choosing to forgive, I free myself from the weight of that experience and establish a clear boundary, ensuring that it no longer has the power to harm me. This act of forgiveness allows me to pave the way for a more positive future.